Yesterday I did very little and found myself at a completely loose end. You see I have an overactive brain which needs to be challenged or occupied most of the time or else I start to question things that have been left untouched for a good reason. I find that when I sit at home by myself, I start to self-destruct. I pick apart myself, starting with the obvious; the flaws in what I look like before roughly piercing through the surface and attacking the parts of my personality which I don't particularly like.

I have an overwhelming addiction to magazines which I don't blame for my problems, but acknowledge that they do go a long way to contributing to my issues. Body image is something I will never be comfortable with and reading endless magazines which contain images of celebrities with sizes 0-6 as their dress size doesn't help my state of mind. I am a normal size, but normality doesn't exist in the world of celebrity. These are the images being portrayed to impressionable young girls and it is no wonder that psychological disorders, such as anorexia/bulimia, depression and body dysmorphia are on the rise.

'Don't buy the magazines' I hear you cry and of course that would be a logical answer. However, a solution to my imminent boredom which tackles my creative destruction is to cut up these magazines and create boards of fantasies; hot celebrity men(!), celebrity women who inspire me and clothes I wish I could afford. All of this makes me sound immensely shallow. I'm not...I just take an interest in these things. It does make me sad though, because celebrities are ridiculed for being too fat/too thin. It is our culture which is obsessed with images of perfection that have created this insane image that all women should be stick thin in order to be beautiful and successful. While in the short term this makes it hard to combat my own issues in my head, in the long term it makes me all the more determined to defy this. Someday I will have my own success story. And I don't have to be supermodel thin to achieve it.