For the best part of a year I allowed myself to be defined by the relationship I was in, becoming so absorbed in it that when it ended, I felt like I'd been dropped from dizzying heights to the bottom of the sea. Truth is, I made many mistakes in that relationship, largely depending on it to survive. Without it I didn't really exist. But when that was forced from me, I had to learn to grow into my own person. And I have. I can't, and won't be defined. I am not one particular thing. I'm a daughter and a sister, as well as a friend. These are my most important roles. But none of these particularly express who I am as an individual. I realise that I need to identify me by myself. I am my own person and need to learn to stand on my own two feet. I'll get there one day.
Recently I have been reminded that I am destined to be single. Well at least that's how I feel. I know somewhere I will meet someone I'm meant to be with. It's just I don't deal with rejection very well. Not that I have been rejected exactly. I just don't know where I stand. And to be honest that's almost worse. When your heart hurts for someone, it's all you can think about. I just wish they felt the same.......
